Expect Pushback
People said human flight was impossible. People believed it. It was not an opinion; It was a fact. Humans could not fly. Even after public demonstrations, Ernest Archdeacon of the Aéro-Club de France declared that “the French would make the first public demonstration of powered flight”. A 1906 edition of the Paris New York Herald summed up European sentiment:
The Wrights have flown or they have not flown. They possess a machine or they do not possess one. They are in fact either fliers or liars. It is difficult to fly. It’s easy to say, ‘We have flown.’
The truth is inevitable. After viewing a demonstration in 1908, Monsieur Archdeacon admitted he had done the Wright Brother’s an “injustice”.
There is a quote often mis-attributed to Mahatma Gandhi (which is quite hilarious and interesting), but still rings true for me. The place I originally read this was from a fortune cookie and it read:
First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then you win.
I’m the kind of person that, for lack of a better term, astonishes people. I’ve always done this, since I was a little kid. I ask earnest questions and that seems to really catch people off-guard. I also seem to have “unique” ideas about things, and non-standard approaches to most things. At worst, I’m simply a confrontational contrarian. I’d like to give myself a little bit more credit than that.
What I mean to say here is that I’ve faced a lot of “pushback”. Since I used the aviation example, I should clarify I’m not talking about the process of moving an airplane away from the terminal. I’m talking about resistance. I think most people probably would probably agree they face quite a bit of resistance, warranted or not.
There’s battle lines being drawn
Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
- Buffalo Springfield “For What It’s Worth”
As the great poet once wrote “The times, they are a-changin’”
Whenever someone attempts something new, novel, unfounded, unique, or personal, there is pushback. “Why are you doing that? What makes you think you can succeed? Don’t you know nobody has ever done that? Don’t you know that it’s impossible?”
Here’s the kicker - you are completely new, novel, unfounded, unique, and personal. You can’t help it! So you’re going to get pushback! Do we take that as a signal that there’s something wrong with us? Or do with accept the feedback and move forward?
Orient yourself towards pushback. “Tighten your grip and adjust your stance.” Expect it! Is it a sign you’re doing something wrong? Or a sign you’re doing something right?
I hesitate to fully embrace irrationality in the face of criticism, but honestly I’m nearly there. “Opinions are like bum-holes: everyone has one.” This is true! Some opinions can help inform yours! Just take it for what it’s worth.
I say this all as someone who, as I retrospect, has given far too much heed to the pushback I’ve been given when in pursuit of my passions. You can’t expect anyone to see it from your point of view. Improving your communication skills can help, but I’ve found most people have a very different picture of what they think I’m trying to do in comparison to what I’m actually trying to do. And in fact, I’ve found that the more time and energy I spend trying to help other people understand what I’m doing and thinking, the less they understand. So I just do.
The best part about anticipating pushback is that you can now handle it much more gracefully. Consider yourself walking through a holey field. If you can see, and anticipate the holes, it’s quite easy to avoid them. However, if you are walking backwards, or blindfolded, you would be harmed because you can’t see, or anticipate the holes. Anticipating allows us to not only avoid, but appreciate! “Wow, there’s a little pool of tadpoles in this hole!”
Expect pushback. Anticipate incredulity. Plan for it. On the other hand - expect to accomplish the impossible. Seek out the unique and novel parts of yourself and allow them to thrive. Do not conform. Stand by your principles. Be kind and respectful to those who don’t understand you. Two wrongs never make a right.
Now that we have that out of the way, where do you want to go today?